I’m scheduling this post for Valentines day, when I’m sure the blogosphere (and everywhere else) will be full of romance.
I’m not a big fan of Valentines day, myself. Last year I was in Japan with the Passive Aggressive, wondering if her inability to even go to the corner shop by herself would cause me to lose my mind. I sent my boyfriend a fruit basket. Before that, I was typically single for Valentines day.
This year, paper deadlines, assignment marking and mid-terms mean that it won’t be a romantic evening a deux. My boyfriend and I may not even see each other. I’m okay with that, I think it’s how someone treats you the other 364 days a year that matters. I wish we saw more of each other in general, not just on this one “special” day of the year.
Being an expat, being, in general, a bit of a nomad… makes a relationship different, I think. On the plus side, I’m more attractive because I’m a little bit exotic. On the negative, I don’t have the same support network (so depend on my boyfriend more) and in general I’m not as “fixed” in position.
My first stage of looking for a job (underway at the moment) is through connections. Because I’m international, my connections are too. I know that if I leave, we’re over – my boyfriend can’t/won’t come with right now. But I’ve never stayed anywhere for anyone – this stage in my life is not the time to change that.
This conflict is a dull ache. I’m trying to focus on getting a great job – on opportunities in Ottawa and elsewhere. Then we’ll see where that happens to be.