life Relocating travel women in computer science

On Burnout

Credit: flickr / Tim Williams

I am so burnt out right now. There’s a long list of reasons for that, but a lot of it is just the industry and how women are treated – as one of my friends put it “dudes are just a trigger warning for you at this point”. And this is exacerbated by not feeling that I’ve been doing anything meaningful, and I’ve just been questioning a number of things, including where I live.

So I’ve been concocting a plan – come December 2nd, I will be based in London. And October and November are devoted to Adventures. First the Grace Hopper Conference (which was awesome), and then California for an internal leadership course, and as of today… officially non-work-related-adventures.

I’m going to relax in Bali, roam around Barcelona, catch up with friends in Kitchener-Waterloo, see the Northern Lights in Reykjavik, and look for some kind of inner peace on a yoga retreat in Faro (Portugal).

Shorter explanations:

“I’m exploring my alternate career as a travel blogger”

“I’m an international fuckwit of no fixed address”

What do I hope to get out of this?

First up, I just need a break, a chance to reconnect with what I think is important. There’s a freedom that comes from not having to answer to anyone, and weekends and short breaks have not been long enough for me to really connect with and hold onto that.

Secondly, I need to remind myself why I love to make things. This means more time to make things for fun, learn the things that I want to learn just because they are interesting, rather than because they’ll help my career or team or whatever.

Thirdly, I want some distance from this industry, and the appalling treatment of women within it. Every week I encounter new pieces of data, and new stories, and they are not abstract to me, this is the world I live in. I’m hoping a break from this world will help me not connect with these stories and data as much for a while.

Finally, this is my time to explore what I would do if I wasn’t afraid.

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