In September, I challenged myself to say no. And so – I didn’t take a trip. I set boundaries. Yes, I will do the thing I agreed to, no, you can’t change it about on me like that. After reflection, my boyfriend and I decided that now wasn’t a good time to move in together. I would be doing it because I have been travelling so much, and how ridiculous to make a decision based on an aspect of my life that I would like to change. I changed trainer to someone who I can work out with when it suits me, rather than on a fixed schedule.
I need to keep working at it. Saying no has been a continuous effort for me. But, someone told me that I seemed to be doing better at it… well, he said I wasn’t rushing around as much. I take that to be progress.
For October, the theme is – public speaking. I have four talks scheduled this month (one down, three to go), and attended a number of panels at Geek Girl Con, went to Ignite NYC, and I have tickets for Ignite Waterloo coming up. So I’ll be devoting some time to trying to improve my own public speaking (the talk at Geek Girl Con was with a friend, so that was a new experience), and thinking about what makes a good talk, and a good panel. Oh, and advice given to female engineers that makes me livid – you have been warned!
August was about change. I switched projects. We are buying a new car and will hopefully start taking more local trips. I’m trying a new trainer – with the amount of travel I’m doing, I need more flexibility. I’ve been changing the way we do women in CS stuff, and trying to decentralize and delegate more. This is ongoing – something about the back to school feel of fall and having had a much needed break on vacation.
September is about saying no. I am currently giving three talks in October. Current (tentative) travel schedule has me being away for about 2+ weeks a month from August to March.
So my challenge – say no. It hasn’t started well, I was hoping to not do a trip (that I’d committed to) to New York this week but when someone announced it to a room of people and made a plan around me being in New York… on top of me realizing that it might be detrimental to my happiness but it would be good for my productivity… I booked flights.
Anyway, tomorrow there will no doubt be something else for me to say no to. Wish me luck!
Currently, I’m trapped in a stressed-not-sleeping-feeling-ill cycle. Where I wake up exhausted, too late to go to the gym before work, and come home with a headache. I’m not sure why this is, maybe the crazy weather and thunderstorms we’ve been having. Or it might be the oppressive weight that I feel every morning – that it is already impossible to achieve everything I want to do today in the time available. Hopefully this will improve when a couple of things are checked off. I’m giving an ignite talk next week, which I’m rather nervous about, and working on an article (more about these coming soon).
Been to see a movie at the cinema (Bridesmaids – it was awesome, highly recommend).
Got tipsy celebrating something awesome.
Got up early for spin class.
Napped in the afternoon.
Had breakfast in my favourite local cafe with a book.
Bought my teammates cupcakes.
Watched an episode of Desperate Housewives.
Tidied my apartment.
Not a little thing, but definitely an awesome one… this is my first post written on my iPad, which my lovely boyfriend bought me for my birthday. I love it.
Coming up: novel-reading, and a pedicure. And hopefully many other things I haven’t thought of yet!
It’s helping, I think. No noticeable effect on stress-level or sleeping yet but just trying to do at least one thing every day for no other reason than it makes me happy changes the way I look at things, especially how I spend my time (even if only temporarily). I don’t have to be productive all the time, although that is something I need to keep reminding myself!
In May I focused on feeling better about myself. I bought new makeup, two new pairs of jeans, got my hair cut and colored, and started making more effort to dress up for work. Sometimes I wear heals, sometimes I wear my new Ugg sneakers (they are fluffy inside, it’s awesome). I still keep it casual a day or two a week, but what’s important is that I’m not just wearing the same thing all the time – this is what months of living in and out of suitcases and winter did.
I couldn’t decide what to do this month. I was thinking I wanted to focus on eating more mindfully, and contemplated the Tim Ferriss slow carb diet. But I kept thinking – I am too strung out right now to live without carbs. I’ve been thinking that my stress level would decrease and then I would be up for it. It’s not a huge change from how I eat normally, I don’t think. And then I thought – that’s not going to happen, so I should just do it for a month and my stress level will have to decrease to accomodate this breadless-lifestyle.
On further reflection, I’ve decided against it. Wanting to be more mindful about food was enough – actually being more mindful followed. I may try the slow carb thing, but not right now.
My focus for June – make time for small things. I worry that I spend so much time on big things that the small things just get postponed indefinitely. Small things, like breakfast in my favorite cafe with a novel for half an hour before work. Or committing to finish work before a certain time so I can go to cross-fit. Like an early night, or a lie in. A walk in the park. An evening reading a novel, or watching Desperate Housewives (it has been so long since I did this, I no longer have a computer in my living room to watch tv shows or movies on). Or reading some non-fiction regularly, rather in bursts (on planes). Getting a pedicure.
It’s not just doing small things for me – last week I bought my teammates cupcakes. The week before I gave someone a novel that I’d long promised them but not got around to posting. I should do more things like that.
Work is crunchy this month. The other day I somehow ended up working until 9pm – not a habit I want to develop. There’s big deadlines looming and I feel like I’m sacrificing my happiness to the higher goals I pursue. I don’t want to live like that, so this month is about taking a moment to pause, and do something small that makes me, or someone else, a little happier. Ironically, for all it’s easy to cut out small things because we’re so busy, I think taking time for small, unimportant things, makes time feel more abundant and so reduces stress.
I might start by (finally) reading the Book of Awesome (Amazon). I’m also taking suggestions. Meanwhile – what are you focusing on in June?
Last month my focus was physical challenge. I climbed the CN Tower for WWF, and tried crossfit.
The tower climb was… tough. You don’t get any water, and as a result I had my first asthma incident in about 15 years. Somehow, I made it to the top in under 40 minutes! Not sure if I’ll do that again – I’d have to get hold of an inhaler if I wanted to try. Crossfit is pretty awesome. It’s tough, but in an energizing, motivating way. I think it can replace kickboxing for a little while.
This month my focus is going to be on feeling better about myself.
Winter has taken it’s toll on me (I have still not figured out how to dress well during the Canadian winter, and so live in jeans and sweaters for the duration), as has being injured and not doing my usual levels of physical activity. The abundance of chocolate at the office initially made me think that chocolate was the answer to broken code (it wasn’t). But, the jerk who was so rude the other week made me think about clothing. So, I did some shopping, and I’m experimenting with clothing for the office. Now that I’ve been there a while I don’t need to prove that I’m a SWE by wearing a nerdy t-shirt, so I can wear heals and cute tops instead. I got my hair cut and colored. I’m going to the spa. After feeling so much better last month, I’m determined to continue making exercise a priority. It takes a little longer to get ready, but not that long (maybe 15 mins) and I’m finding it to be worth it.
Inevitable with starting a new job, that January my focus would be on my career. I want to spend time on how I can be effective and how I can create value.
Some questions I’m contemplating:
How do I manage my work email? I want to minimize the time I spend on email, but stay on top of it.
What’s the vision for the project I’m working on?
How can I contribute to that vision?
Set up an internal blog (what do I call it?)
How can I get the most out of my manager?
How will I organize myself?
How do I organize my day to be most effective? Gym in the morning? When is my make time?
What has to change about my writing here?
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