The other day, my boyfriend said to me, “One of the things I love about you is that you’re incapable of bullsh*tting. But I think that gets you into trouble, because people who do bullsh*t just assume you must as well.”
This is his explanation for my latest headache. Where I make the argument as clearly as possible, re-read what I’m saying multiple times, send it to a friend to proof, firm that I’m making the argument that 2 + 2 = 4.
And then get a response arguing with me like I’m saying 2 + 2 = 5.
And so I respond saying, no, this is what I’m actually concerned about, this is why you haven’t addressed what I’ve said.
But if someone thinks that the only reason I could possibly object is if I thought 2 + 2 = 5, and persists in thinking that despite my painstakingly constructed arguments, then there comes a point when it’s not worth reasoning with them.
I am, perhaps, excessively paranoid about being reasonable. My question when I’m upset is invariably, is it reasonable for me to be bothered by this? What is a reasonable reaction? My default reaction tends to be no reaction. It’s hide over here, rationalizing things until I have it figured out.
(I know, in some ways I seem really normal for a compsci. In others, well… I’m like this)
Anyway, I just don’t see the point of bullsh*t, drama, mind games and manipulation. It seems extremely inefficient. Why not just ask for what you want, and treat people with respect?