Being so busy this week has got me thinking about the concept of “having time”. We all have 60 minutes in each hour and 24 of them in each day for however many weeks, months, years or – hopefully – decades we have left on this planet. We just can’t know how long that is.
I feel like “making time” is a better expression. Life is like packing – it expands to fill the time you have for it. I don’t have time for anything right now, but I make time for the things that matter. Things for WISE, my boyfriend (I don’t make enough time for him – thankfully he’s understanding), my TA position, my research.
Despite being really busy, because time is tight I appreciate it more; I make the most of it. The winter semester this year I had so much time, and I wasted it on, I don’t know what. Walking around in the snow because the buses were on strike. Being miserable because I was living somewhere where it was -30 and the buses were on strike (for months – how was that allowed?). I worked ineffectively, and wasted my energy on people who took – but never gave anything but grief. I slept a lot.
Now I’m flat out, the people who are around are the people who give – they come around and help me bake, show up to events they aren’t interested in (with tea!), and are sympathetic when I panic about how much I’m trying to do/event organization/event turnout/TA-ing in French. So – three important realizations: 1. people who only take, really drain my energy. 2. When you have relationships where you give, and they give, you build each other up and achieve more than you thought you could (and have more confidence, because you know you have people cheering you on). 3. That saying, “if you want something done, ask a busy person”? So true. I’m more productive than ever. And it’s satisfying because things are coming together, and I can see where we’re going with WISE, and I feel like our goals are a) achievable and b) worthwhile. My thesis is really exciting to me. Hopefully I’ll be able to put up more of what I’m working on here soon.
The only thing is, though, is that I need to do some writing on my thesis. There are some things that I can do in small chunks of time, but writing is not one of them. I take a long time to get into writing, and knowing I have something on in 2 or 3 hours, or really at any point that day just seems to leave me feeling blank and overwhelmed. I’ll keep working on it, though!
Thanks to everyone who’s supported and helped me this week – I couldn’t do it without you!