The Faux Feminist
This guy will tell you that he thinks there should be more women in tech, but balks at the idea of actually… doing anything about that, and any conversation on the topic somehow goes in the direction of what is fair for the men.
He doesn’t think there should be “special” scholarships for women, for example. He’ll often support the “pipeline” argument, in so far as he never needs to take a critical look at his own environment.
He might complain about a misogynist comment a guy made near him, but he’ll never actually call them out on it. If asked, he may say that women can fight their own battles, after all they don’t want doors opened for them anymore.
This guy will call women obscene words, rate them on the desirability rather than their professional skills. He’s the kind of guy who will hit on the intern. Almost every woman he works with will be deemed incompetent, maybe one will have the dubious honour of his grudging approval. Because she’s not like all those other stupid b*tches.
His friends will say, oh that guy. They’ll tell you, don’t take it so personally. Maybe they will diminish it because no-one likes that guy or rationalise that he is only joking.
He’s not really joking.
He’s paranoid that he shouldn’t be where he is, and could well be right. Looks for every opportunity to demonstrate his brilliance, but lack of ability and/or social awareness means his strategy is often to undermine those around him who he perceives to be weaker. If they succeed, they are seen to be taking something from him.
The already marginalised are a good target – presumed competence and rationality is on his side, after all.
It’s not an -ism, really. It’s survival of the fittest.
This guy will be
obnoxious kind enough to bore you with share with you his incredible mansplaining wisdom that you are unfortunate lucky enough to be near.
If you don’t listen to him, you’ve been ungrateful and he will be offended. It won’t occur to him that you might disagree; you must not understand.
If you don’t seek out his advice, you’re being unfriendly and disrespectful.
The Decent Bloke
This guy is focused on his own success, and his own life and isn’t caught up in other people’s opinion on him. He’s getting stuff done and is generally liked.
He’s sympathetic, but doesn’t really understand what you’re complaining about.