Accidentally in Code

Tag: adventures

How I Learned To Love Solo-Travel
Credit: flickr / Christopher Bowley

I didn’t travel anywhere by myself until I was 22. And then I spent a year as an international hobo. It was scary to set off by myself, but I met people everywhere I went – some who I’m still in touch with, and some who were only in my life for a short time.

And now, I travel alone all the time. For work, and for pleasure. There is too much I want to do and see to wait for the perfect travel buddy, and it turns out that often when I’ve just decided I’m going, someone is happy to come with. I’ve discovered that being willing to go alone means that sometimes you don’t have to.

But it can still be hard – one morning in Hong Kong recently I ate some poorly labelled peanut sauce, had an allergic reaction, and then got ripped off by a corrupt cabbie. That was definitely a day I wished I was with someone else!

Anyway, here are some things I do to make it easier to go alone. This definitely is not tips for budget travel! I don’t do that at the best of times, and certainly not when I’m alone. It’s stressful enough.
- Embrace Introvert Time. I’m an ambivert, which means that I need to keep my social time and solo time in balance. Experimentation has let me know that 3-4 days of not speaking to anyone is fine, but I probably couldn’t cope with more than that. So if I go for 2 weeks, I break it up into social sections (places where I know people) and solo sections. If it’s a short trip, or I’m starting with solo-time, then I’ll people myself out before my departure by going out every night. That way, when I arrive at my destination I’m due some alone time and happy to embrace it!
- Always Have Data. I have very little sense of direction, but that’s OK, because I have a ridiculous number of cellphones (being a mobile dev) and so the first thing I do on arrival is acquire a SIM card (or, in Tokyo, it was a portable wifi device). This can seem overpriced, but I’m happy to pay ~$40 for a few days – I know that it allows me to be more adventurous with where I eat (recommendations and foursquare), and take fewer cabs (maps means I don’t get too lost and cab it home because I’m too exhausted to figure out another way). It also makes me feel safer – if I’m in a cab alone, I can track the route they are taking and make sure it’s not out of my way.
- Stay Somewhere Comfortable. Other solo-travellers swear by hostels as a way to meet people, but I’m not sold on the idea. My experience of hostels are that they are uncomfortable and feel unsafe – and I’ve never stayed in one alone (that may be skewed by the fact that the last one I stayed at was a converted jail). I want to stay somewhere I can get directions and recommendations from the concierge, relax quietly if I’m feeling overwhelmed, and order room service if I’m sick, or my flight’s delayed and I get in too exhausted to go out and find food. Exploring can be stressful, but sleeping must not be.
- Start With a Long Walk. I love roaming about cities by myself, plug in some music, set a park as a destination in maps, and go. So that is always what I start with – as a bonus, daylight and exercise are the best things for jetlag! This is not an activity that can easily go wrong – I’ve never not had a great wonder around anywhere I’ve been. Once I’m roamed around for a while, appreciated the aesthetics, I’m much more relaxed and feel more orientated to explore other things.
- Maximize Alone Activities. Things I love to do alone: read, walk, museums/art galleries, spa-time. Things I’m OK doing alone: eating lunch with a book, shopping. Things I find doing alone stressful: eating dinner (esp at the weekend), going to the movies/theatre. So the more things I pick from the first category, the happier I’ll be and the less I’ll miss having company.
- Minimize and Space “Prefer Company” Activities. I went to a show alone when I was in Prague – this was an achievement for me! But it has to be something that I really want to do, and one show in 3 days was probably as much as I was going to enjoy. I tend to skip dinner, or eat at weird times, especially at the weekend, which makes it easier for me to eat out alone. Sometimes I practise doing things I don’t really like to do alone whilst at home – like going to a restaurant I’ve been meaning to try by myself, or going for brunch to my favourite place alone. Maybe someday I’ll go to the movies alone!
- Stick With Status. I have status on Star Alliance, and I stick to flying with them, especially when I’m alone. Lounge access when a flight is delayed and I’m exhausted is really handy. Some places will allow you to leave a bag at the reception rather than carting all your belongings to the bathroom, which makes it easier. The chairs are more comfortable, there are snacks, and I don’t feel I need to be as paranoid about continually watching my stuff – I can relax with a book, or even take a nap. This might seem a little diva-ey, and depends on flight lengths and times etc, but when I was stuck in Singapore Airport from 3-7am, I was really glad to be somewhere that was a bit more comfortable and (I feel, perhaps irrationally), safe.
- Mid-Week Is Better. People are more social at weekends, and restaurants are less keen to have a table for one. There are more couples about – maybe not what you want to see if you’re travelling alone because you just had a breakup. During the week more people travel for work, or are just going about their regular day. Upshot: I’d sooner be somewhere by myself on Wednesday than on Saturday, and where possible I plan my trips accordingly.
- Morning/Afternoon/Evening – Pick Two. The biggest benefit of travelling alone is never having to wait for anyone. That could be an opportunity to see more stuff, or it could just be space in your day where you chill out. I know my energy levels, and especially given that I spend most of my time walking or standing leaving at 9am and returning in time to go to bed would just be too much. So if I leave early, I’ll aim to return for a bit in the afternoon and chill before I go out in the evening, or I’ll return early and go swimming or something before bed. I’ll linger over lunch and drink more tea, and read. Putting pressure on myself to be on the go for 12+ hours a day will not make me happy.
- It’s Not the Trip, it’s a Trip. Something I really want to do in Hong Kong – have afternoon tea at the Penninsula. But I didn’t do that this trip, because it’s an experience I want to share with someone. In Copenhagen, I missed out on the downtown theme park – I love fairground rides, but it’s more fun with someone else. I don’t view my solo-trips as trips-of-a-lifetime, or see them as places that I won’t go again. That takes the pressure off, and leaves me free to do what I want to do on that particular trip, not follow some list of “must do” tourist attractions.
- A Picture Is Like An Instant Postcard. The data plan means I can tweet or email a photo and include people in my trip, in real time. If I see something that reminds me of someone, I send them a picture. If I see something really cool, I tweet it. People usually reply or comment, and I get a little social interaction.
- Shop For Memories. Arguably the shared memories of a trip are the best thing you bring home when you go with someone, “Do you remember when we took that Tuk Tuk in Bangkok…?” – you don’t have that when you go alone. My strategy is as follows: I almost never shop at “home”, I shop when I travel. So when someone complements me on my top, or my shoes, or my necklace, it has a story: “Thanks! I bought this when I was in…” – my outfits are made up of memories of adventures, and that is kinda cool.
- Pack Light (But Not Too Light). I want little enough luggage that I can carry it easily, but not so little that I end up being unable to fit stuff in my checked luggage and have too much to carry about the airport. I know people who swear by carry on only, but (especially with status and priority tags) I almost never have to wait any time for my luggage and I don’t have to worry about hand-washing clothes etc.
- Be OK To Be Scruffy. I lived out of a small holdall for the entire of last July. I did this by packing about 5 of the same outfit and wearing that every day – leggings and a long t-shirt. Not my best outfit, and after that month most of them got relegated to the back of my closet never to be worn again. But, especially when travelling alone, no-one cares what you look like, and you’re probably never going to see the people you meet again anyway. Priority is comfort, and easily packable. Sometimes guys chat me up, but I’m not looking for that, and I think my baseball cap and sneakers keeps them away – good. I’m there for an adventure, not to “fall in love”. Having a break from looking pretty and making an effort is liberating.
- Savor Small Moments. I had this moment sitting on a bench in a park with an amazing BBQ pork bun in Hong Kong. I felt very peaceful, and just acknowledged it as the kind of moment that I get whilst travelling solo, but not when travelling with people. I felt relaxed, and free to just do whatever the hell appealed to me in that moment.
- Do Weird Stuff. I spent about 4 hours in the most beautiful graveyard I have ever seen in Copenhagen last year. I walked for nearly 2 hours to see a giant metronome in Prague. These were highlights – for me – from these trips, but I don’t know anyone else who would really have enjoyed them. I love going along with what other people want to do, I see different things than I would have chosen myself, and reassure myself that I don’t live in a filter bubble. When I go places by myself, I do things that seem frankly odd, but so what – it makes me happy!
Summary: solo-travel is more stressful, but worth it. Managing and reducing the things that you find stressful (different for everyone), and embracing whatever it is that you love doing alone is key to enjoying it.

It’s better to go alone, than with a bad travel buddy – or not at all!
August 7, 2013
Shipwreck!

When reading about the 33 Most Beautiful Abandoned Places in the World recently, I was amazed to discover one about 30 minutes from where I live, in Central Sydney. And it’s a shipwreck! Obviously I was determined to go see it. And it is really cool, not entirely abandoned though – the ship itself is abandoned, but the right behind you is a new apartment building. Imagine being able to see a shipwreck when you look out the window!

You can even see the shipwreck on the satellite view on Google Maps.

July 1, 2013
How To Leave a Country

For someone who seems to have an incurable fear of forms, I move too often. There is nothing I have found so far that has more bureaucracy than moving, especially if that move requires you to obtain a visa.

Dealing with the logistics is time-consuming and stressful, but not hard. Dispose of assets: car (the last tie to my ex, so glad that is done with), cancel outgoings: apartment, phone, internet, insurance, electricity, gym membership. Because things were uncertain up until the last minute, I ended up paying extra because many things were cancelled at the last minute. I consider this an investment in an easier life, but maybe I am just disorganized and indecisive.

Weird, because I bought a one-way ticket out of Canada, luckily I had enough airmiles, so it was cheap (one-ways to and from North America are normally extortionate) and business class – thankfully, after 3 days with little sleep and the last day or so I was too stressed to eat as well I arrived looking and feeling like I had been electrocuted and spent the night in a ditch, and that was with a fully reclining seat and a full night’s sleep on the plane (can’t imagine how I would have been had I flown economy)! But I have a couple of weeks in limbo (in the UK, Copenhagen and Singapore) so the departure from Canada and my arrival in Sydney have been completely separate. I didn’t apply for the Australian Visa or book my flight until after I arrived in the UK. But now I have both (Australian immigration is efficient) and I will arrive in Sydney July 27th.

You end one life, you start another. Visa, bank account, somewhere to live. Despite having relatively little, I am determined to have less in my next location. Thankfully my friend in Sydney enjoys apartment hunting, my hope is that she will have sorted out somewhere for me to live before I arrive.

Anyway, I’m not qualified to tell anyone how to deal with bureaucracy. But leaving, that I am good at.

Truth is, I was heart-broken to leave KW. So much in Sydney that I’m excited for, and I need to live in a city, the city-planning of KW makes everywhere feel like suburbia, an environment I am completely unsuited to. But the community is so vibrant and amazing, and the people I know are so wonderful. I have doubted the decision to leave many, many times, but I was always going to go.

Glad I have my time in limbo though, I left during pitch night (a story for another blog post) and to go from that huge outpouring of love and many of my favorite people in town to a place where I know one person outside of work, that would be quite a culture shock.

I tend to say “why not” instead of “why”, so when everything in my life seemed to disappear at once, I said “why not go” instead of “why stay”. The way you frame the question, makes an outcome more likely. And the thing is, I want to have an international life and career, I just expected to go back to Europe now, but I’m not. Sydney is too beautiful, one of my favorite people in the world is there, and the opportunity is really good for me. It’s never a good time to leave, but some times are less terrible than others, and I think less terrible doesn’t come around that often – so I tell myself that I have to take advantage of it when it does.

But it is hard, and I would talk to people more settled than me and they would quiz me on the how and why, or say they wanted to move to X but hadn’t because of Y, and the truth is, I have all the same fears and concerns, I just do it anyway. I miss my family, have since I left the UK (timezones make it hard), but you only get your twenties once, either you take advantage of that, or you don’t. I don’t want to be wishing I had lived in X or done Y 10 years from now, I want to do it.

We had some girl guides into the office the other week, and I listed “economic freedom” as a benefit of being a female engineer. Economic freedom means you can leave a bad relationship if it is not working out, and not be tied by financial considerations. It means you can up sticks and move to another continent if you want that adventure; it also means you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It is the freedom to make your own decisions, and live your own life, confident that you can financially support yourself and others if necessary.

And I write my profile for OK Cupid, and worry that I seem like a feckless fuckwit. But, whatever, this is my life and I like the adventure, people who judge I probably don’t want to hang out with. And, this is a special time when I’m economically free, and completely lacking in responsibilities. Good chance it won’t last forever (although I’ll do what I can to see that it does!), so I should enjoy it whilst it does.

How do you leave? You dispose of your assets, you cancel your outgoings, and you buy a ticket. You cry, you doubt yourself, you tell yourself that maybe you’ll come back, you hug your people, you tell them how much they mean to you, you cry some more, and then you get on the plane. It is that simple, and that hard.

July 16, 2012
Love and Other Fairy Tales

Credit: flickr / o palsson

It’s weird being single again. When things weren’t great, when I wasn’t happy – when I didn’t think things would work out, I never thought ahead to this point. Saturday night with nothing to do. Putting a friend down as my emergency contact on a form.

It’s good. I’m not down about it. I was at peace with the outcome before it even happened, but the process left much to be desired. The process, that was upsetting.

Really, I feel like we broke up three weeks before we actually did, as that was when we had that (final) argument, and my ex stopped speaking to me. And since then, I’ve been in California, New York (twice), Sydney, and Ottawa. Flitting around by myself is not new, and in many ways not much had changed. It was when I stopped rushing around that things seemed different. Having my wisdom teeth out my friends were awesome, and took care of me, but then I spent the weekend alone in the kind of state where making it out to the store to pick up some (soft) food was an achievement.

I spent about 48 hours off my head on narcotics post-surgery. The most relaxed I have been in… a long time. And during this, I contemplated having a nose job (possibly due to my dropping my ipad on my nose, a fact that I had forgotten until I noticed the bruise, Monday morning). And I also contemplated dating women, as in, why am I not doing that instead? Sober, there is, of course, a pretty simple answer to this! But I’m burned out on the drama, and the anger, and the stress of untangling two lives that used to be entwined. I always thought the downside of dating women would be the emotional drama. The latest breakup had enough emotional drama to fuel the breakup of two teenage girls.

But I was OK, until I ended up back at the dentist in so much pain I was nearly in tears, and he gave me a syringe to clean out the holes where my wisdom teeth used to be and told me to “have your hubby do it”. I said, “I don’t have a husband”, a fact so surprising the nurse had to repeat it, and he said, “oh, your parents then”. My parents are in Europe. “It’s easier if you have someone else”. Well I don’t! That day, I did not feel quite so great about being single. He also told me that I was fine to work, but try debugging with a minimum of a constant low level pain (and often much worse) whilst feeling nauseous from consuming more painkillers in a couple of days than I’ve taken in the entire last year.

The plan is, I’m moving. The move is a story for it’s own blog post, once it is definite. I’m currently operating on the basis that it is happening, but don’t really believe it will. My friend where I’m going says, “we can go to these singles meetups if you want”, and I say, “I spend all day surrounded by dudes. The last thing I want to do in the evening is meet more dudes”. Another friend, with no knowledge of this conversation, suggests I go on OKCupid to meet some people pre-move. They both have a point, but currently, I feel like, what’s the point? So I can spend time on another man, who will eventually be an ex I don’t speak to? Why bother?

I met my dad in Ottawa, he was on his way to DC (he travels at least as much as I do), and he says to me that he worries about me seeming untethered to anything.

I am untethered. That’s why I can pack up my life and relocate to another continent next month. And I’m excited for that adventure, and I’ve yet to meet anyone who I think would be worth giving that freedom up for. It’s possible that there are people who have that kind of hankering for adventure too, but I haven’t found that either.

In a world where we didn’t have the options that we do, there might not have been the moment where I looked at my ex and realized, we are just too different. But I do have those options. It’s been the case for a while that men have chosen the kind of weird nomadic life that I have and had wives go along for the ride. But statistics show that a professional women’s partner will tend to be another professional, and that is a constraint. I don’t want someone to keep house and raise the 2.4 children, I want another adventurer who chooses the same adventures that I do. Or I’ll have my adventures alone, or with more transient company. And that is okay.

I had a fling. It ended, and I missed it. And then, I saw the alternative reality, the ending of it where it was more than a fling – a dramatic, heartbreaking, mess, of compromises too big to make, because there are limits to how much people can really change (not much). And I was just so grateful that it had happened, to remind me that it does – sometimes boy meets girl, boy and girl have fun. I needed it, but I didn’t need it to last forever. That ending was OK. Given the choice, it’s the one I want.

Not sure where I’m going with this other than, romance – it’s at least NP-hard.

June 11, 2012
It’s Not a Disaster

Credit: http://www.bighappyfunhouse.com/archives/11/03/30/14-54-33.html

Travel gives me a lot of time to think, the planes, the airports, the queues. And the jetlag – there’s no lonelier time than four in the morning, wherever you happen to be.

Probably clear from my last post that I’ve had a lot to think about, lately. Still going to have to be enigmatic and elusive (sorry!), but things are looking up.

Currently, I oscillate between fear that things can’t just work out the way it seems like they might, and this calm conviction that three months from now my life if going to be unrecognizable, and all this chaos and drama is going to turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.

I’m not normally a big fan of poetry, but there is one poem that I like – One Art by Elizabeth Bishop.

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

— Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.

I think she is saying it is a disaster, but still. I find it comforting. It’s hard to feel your world falling to pieces around you; it’s hard to lose the things you cling to. Yes, it brings potential, but at 4am that doesn’t mean that you don’t want to cry – that loss seems insurmountable, at the loneliest time of day.

And I just let it be. OK, this is my worst case scenario. It is not, in fact, a disaster. And, interestingly, the more I activate my best-case scenario, the more the worst-case scenario seems like a precious thing that I don’t want to lose, either.

At 4am, I look at myself and realize that I are not the person I aspire to be. I know that in a different reality I might have talked about change a lot, but been unable to actually do it because I wouldn’t have wanted to let go of something. But the something is breaking apart, and as that happens – it tells me to go for it. It’s time.

May 9, 2012
Brightly Colored Accessories for a Colorful Day

Accidentally bought matching sneakers and wallet this afternoon. I went out for sunscreen, and came back with this, two candles, and extra Biotherm products… this is after I ordered new glasses. One pair are a little crazy, but it was buy one get one free so I figured I would go wild, and when I return from Australia there’ll be two pairs waiting for me. And anyway, I think my insurance covers it (not that I’ve managed to claim anything as yet, but I filled in a form to get a password at least – that is something, right?)

One of those days where I made significant progress at work, and out in the sunshine I just felt glad to be alive. I love that I get to experience daylight again, since the clocks went back, there’s something very depressing about walking to work and leaving in the dark (and I don’t even work that long hours).

I feel like during the long months of winter there was a lot of potential I wasn’t exploring. I feel like I haven’t adventured lately. I’m excited, so excited, to go somewhere new. I’m trying to take advantage of things on offer. I’m getting round to things I’ve been procrastinating on, like the dentist.

Sometimes something happens, and it makes you realize how far you’ve come. This morning I shoulder pressed 24lbs (each arm). Maybe a year ago I was still so injured that I would have been pushed to lift half that. I’ve been working at it. Today it was clear how much difference that made.

Anyway, some things have been a little crappy lately but overall? Life is good. In less than a month I’ll be 27, and I think, I don’t feel quite as much of a failure as I used to.

Enjoy the long weekend!

April 6, 2012
Excitement!

by Jan Kalle Ribbert. Some rights reserved.

About 3 weeks ago, I sat in San Francisco airport and waited, as the delay on my flight crept up and up. Some time around 5pm, when I’d been there since 10am, I felt like, I could cry right then. Just start sobbing. In public. The lounge had closed, and I was sitting by the gate, stuck in the airport, wondering why I hadn’t just pushed my flight back to the next day. And wanting to cry.

This is why I get tired of travelling. It’s sitting in an airport, watching your weekend disappear. It’s waiting by the carousel for 45 minutes (the priority label on my bag means NOTHING) as the event I had timed my flight to be back in plenty of time for starts without me, after a 3.5 hour delay and now…. this.

I made an anguished noise and stamped my feet (in the face of this, I am 5, apparently) and my intern said “yes”. I look at him and he continues, “you’ve expressed something there, that I feel too”. We commiserate with each other – it sucks to feel powerless.

When I got status I thought that would change things. It hasn’t. The wait should be more comfortable, in the lounge, but when the lounge is before security, and they keep pushing back 30 minutes each time… I spent more time waiting at the gate than in the lounge.

And so I’ve come to dread getting on a plane. I don’t really believe that any of my flights will be on time. The thought of Toronto airport makes me shudder.

But, I’ve been trying to book this trip to Sydney for over a week. And the Air Canada website kept failing, giving me stupid error messages and demanding that I call them. I hate calling companies. So I just gave up and tried again the next day.

After a week of this, someone suggests I try a travel agent. But first I have to track them down. They don’t want to help me because I don’t live in the US, but there is some elaborate system I can use to convince them to help me. I get half way through this. The website keeps reloading on my Android phone. I broadcast a wireless network to connect my iPhone, and it doesn’t work there either. I try Air Canada one last time on my iPad and… success! I book quickly, before I bottle it.

Realize I’ve booked my flight to leave on an evening when I’m supposed to be somewhere. I had a date planned, but decided to leave a day before to allow for the delay that I have come to expect, see as normal. But that can be dealt with.

And then… I get excited. I’m going to Sydney! My first time to Australia! My first time to the Southern Hemisphere!

On a roll, the next day I book a hotel. The website doesn’t work. I call them; they don’t pick up. The other website doesn’t work. I call another number. It works! I have a reservation! I even email the spa. I want to book into the spa the day I arrive, but flight times have come to seem just a suggestion, a ballpark, if you will. I request an appointment two days later instead.

But… I’m excited. Still. This is the first trip I’ve been excited for… in what feels like forever. I feel lucky.

People say, you’re lucky to travel so much. And I think no, because the reality to me, has been sitting in an airport, feeling grimy and uncomfortable, watching my free time or sleep schedule disappear. But right now, I feel lucky. And excited. And ready for another adventure. Flying half way around the world, alone, I’ve done before. But the direction, that’s new. Can’t wait.

March 23, 2012
On Having Adventures

There are a zillion things to do in New York City, but my favorite thing to do is walk across it. Every kind of person, demographic. See people out shopping, walking home after a marathon, out with their kids. Overhear people speaking Spanish, Italian, Farsi, French, Chinese, Japanese, and, yes, English – American, and English-English, with a bunch of different regional accents too.

And you see the things that you see everywhere, brunch places, department stores, beauticians, hotels, convenience stores, the ubiquitous Starbucks. And then those things that you only see in NYC, like 24 caret gold facial treatments, and a store for just one kind of candy (M&Ms, surprisingly little chocolate, and lots of pajamas).

So as I took a long walk along 7th, I was thinking about adventures. I love MOMA, and the view from the Empire State Building is pretty awesome, but the experiences I remember most fondly are: the Mauizio Cattelan exhibit I saw at the Guggenheim last time (see a video here), because it was extraordinary. My friends and I, hanging out on the Highline, transfixed by the vertical carpark, trying to determine the algorithm for operating it efficiently. And the encounter with the random guy I met when my plane was delayed for 8 hours, who showed me the lesser known queue for taxis at LGA, and taught me how to bribe someone.

When I was in China, we weren’t too excited about the Great Wall, but wondering around the forbidden city we met a woman whose boyfriend would take us to a slightly different part of the wall than most of the tourists went to. And it sounded cool, so we went. And it was – when someone was being snotty about tourist traps the other day I said that there are some things that a lot of people go to see because they were worth seeing. And the great wall is – the view is amazing, it stretches as far as you can see. You can wax lyrical about how small and insignificant it makes you feel, if you are that way inclined. But the experience that made more of an impression on me, was meeting these women at Moon Hill in Yangshuo who walked up and down the hill, all day every day, carrying postcards and a cooler of drinks to sell. I started off being irritated that they were coming with us, but by the time we got back down again I realized they were amazing. They were my real lesson on humanity – on the difference in work ethic, and expectations, between them and those of us who live in the West. Up the Pearl tower, my friend and I jumped up and down trying to take pictures that looked as though we were flying, but I really felt like I was flying when I was riding a scooter for the first time, until that unfortunate incident with the two trucks and the large pile of rocks.

In Japan, I skiied with a bunch of random Australians where they held the 1998 Olympics, and wondered through the temple from the Memoirs of a Geisha. But I felt like I appreciated Japanese culture and Japan in general the most when I was hanging out in Harajuku. Love the outfits. Particularly love the hats.

Of course my favorite kind of adventure, is to go and live somewhere new. Moving to Canada with a week’s notice? Making it work? That was hard. But rewarding. Moving again within the province, to KW, was relatively easy by comparison. Next, a non-English-speaking country, because that will be a real challenge.

And so one of the things I realized this morning is that for me, the adventure doesn’t happen at the destination, it happens often unexpectedly, somewhere on the way. It might be easier to find an extraordinary experience in NYC (fancy that 24 caret facial?), but I think with the right attitude and travel companions, you can have an adventure in Winnipeg (like when my friend got trapped in an escalator). And I don’t normally bother to share what I thought of the Great Wall of China, but those women from Moon Hill? I’ve talked about them a bit.

On my way to MTV with my intern, I shared with him my calm travel philosophy – wallet, keys, phone, passport. Anything else you can buy. Except for adventures, they’re free, as long as you’re open to them, and you’re not so fixated on the check-list of things to see, that you let them go whooshing by. Kind of like me, on that scooter, headed towards that truck.

March 19, 2012
Time For Change

Credit: flickr / anafuentes

At the end of last week, I wrote that it had been “a mixed week“. And then on Monday, things went and got crazier. I’m still waiting for the dust to settle so that I can figure out what is actually going on.

A friend is in town for a while. Last time I saw him, he told me of his plan to get rid of all his belongings – after living out of a suitcase for a couple of months he’d released he didn’t need most of them. So we catch up, and he’s done it. Everything he owns fits in two suitcases, apparently. He has achieved the minimalist dream. I told him he should blog about it, but he said, no, it was boring because it was easy.

So I ask him, when is he going to move? His response is what I find fascinating, and what I think he should blog about… he tells me that he got rid of all his stuff, and that was easy, but he’s not emotionally ready to leave.

The stuff was just stuff, I guess. Purging yourself of it might change you, but – my friend is proof – that is may not.

When I moved, I got rid of a lot of stuff. And when I arrived, I got rid of more. I got rid of stuff because I was ready to leave, and disposing of it made that easier. He was working backwards, if I get rid of stuff I’ll feel ready to leave.

I think there are key points where it’s easier to move. On graduation, is often the example. You know the people who stay immediately after graduation, often seem to stay for a lot longer. After a breakup can be a good time to move, you’re unattached and making other changes in your life.

My plan, for a while, has been to move back to Europe next year, maybe the year after. And recent events have made me see that a transition point is going to approach earlier than I thought – at the end of this year, even, in one scenario. I’m going to be doing a lot more travel, and it’s a question of, how long am I willing to do this for? How long will this be sustainable? In the scenarios that are visible, middle of next year is the latest for another transition point.

I could stay here. But I know what I want my life to look like – and it’s an international adventure story. I’m looking out for transition points, because they are natural breaks, where it’s easier than usual to go and start a new adventure. It is hard to pack up your life. It is hard to hit reset and start over with everything. I know – I did it when I went to boarding school, when I moved to Scotland for university, in each stop in my time as an international hobo, when I moved to Ottawa, when I moved to KW. Picking a time when stuff is changing anyway makes it possible. Leaving when everything is settled and “fine” (even if not great) is more difficult because you know exactly what you are comparing to when you’re less than delighted to be living in a strange place and don’t know anyone.

I suspect my next adventure may be set in Paris. I want to be closer to my family, and I want to speak fluent, and flawlessly accented French. That is not something that will happen in the middle of Ontario. Hell, I became more fluent in Ottawa but good things did not happen to my accent. But – I don’t know. I just see a transition point coming. When it is depends on what happens tomorrow, what happens in the next couple of weeks, and what happens in October. We’ll see.

July 22, 2011