Every review season is an emotional rollercoaster. Anxiety. Self assessments. Anticipation. Disappointment. As an IC, I felt like how much it impacted me was a personal failure. As a manager, I learned that review season trauma is pervasive.
The worst thing about all of it, I think, is how much people take it out on each other rather than seeing the system for what it is. The games. The performative work. People stepping on each other to get ahead. We’ve all known people who do this. We’ve all seen them get away with it. But they leave a trail of resentment and people who would be happy to see them fail behind them. Do you want to be that person? Before you buy into that as a way to get ahead, it’s worth asking yourself what timeframe do you want to live on? It’s easier to build something that lasts when people trust and want to work with you.
What performance reviews actually are
Performance reviews are the scorecard of capitalism. They measure your value to that specific organization at that specific moment. No more, no less.
It’s not a measure of your worth as a person. Not a measure of your talent or your potential. Just: what are you worth to this organization right now, given the current market conditions, the current priorities, and the current budget.
The goalposts move with market forces. It’s not (just) that the system is unfair – although it can be. It’s that capitalism changes the rules. When talent was a scarce resource, companies promoted in order to retain. Now companies are promoting fewer people not because they suddenly care more about excellence, but because the market shifted, and they can. In the era of mass layoffs, attrition is less likely to be seen as a problem; it’s an exit the company didn’t have to pay severance on.
Getting angry at your manager doesn’t change this. Often they’re the messenger, not the system. Most of them are doing the best they can within constraints they didn’t set and can’t change.
The conflation problem
Performance reviews exist for a reason, and it’s not a bad thing that people get some minimum amount of feedback at least once a year. The problem is that when growth feedback and position feedback come bundled together, it gets emotionally charged.
Growth feedback is useful. “Here’s what you could get better at” is information you can actually do something with. Position feedback is “you’re not deemed as valuable to the org as you would like to be” (or think you should be). That second part carries all the emotional weight. When both kinds of feedback arrive at the same time, people hear the second part louder.
If review season is the only time you hear feedback about your work, that’s a problem. That’s a process-driven minimum, not good management. (Better ongoing is a whole other conversation I won’t get into here.)
The real question: Are you actually growing?
Forget position for a moment. Forget the level, the title, the rating. Ask yourself:
- What have you done this year you couldn’t do before?
- What have you learned?
- What feedback are you getting and are you able to action it?
- What do people come to you for advice on?
- What problems do you see coming that others don’t yet?
If there are deficits, you need to shore them up. If there are bright spots, consider how you can build on them or apply them more broadly.
The core mistake people make when looking for increased responsibility is thinking more about where they “should” be rather than what is actually being asked of them and what the organization really needs. They ask for the diff to get to where they want rather than focusing on impact. Approach these conversations from a place of genuine curiosity about growth and impact, and you’ll learn a lot more.
Outside the drama of review season, these can be great conversations to have with your manager. Just about growth. Not about position. Once your manager starts “managing your expectations” you’re getting a whole lot less information that could be useful to you.
The market goes up and down, and is well outside of your control. Your own capability and growth – that is within your control, and expending your energy on that has a bigger payoff longer term.
What you can actually control (and what to do about it)
You can control your work and how you approach it. That’s it. That’s what’s in your control.
If you feel undervalued in your current job, maybe it makes sense to check the market. Actually check it. Interview. Get an offer. Or choose not to pursue it because you realize it’s not worth the effort. Either way, you get data.
Sometimes the market validates you; it turns out you could get promoted or paid more elsewhere. Sometimes it shows you the state of things broadly is rough. Both are useful to know.
Own your growth
Caring too much about position in this market will make you miserable.
Companies are less interested than ever in fostering career development. So you need to fill that gap – and more. This means:
- Building your own support system beyond your manager
- Developing a clearer point of view on what you need to learn
- Going toward it
The performance review is the scorecard of capitalism. When you can separate your strengths and career goals from that scorecard, you can step into your own growth—whether that aligns with what the organization wants, or it does not. Make this market the push to be the DRI of your own career. No one else is going to do it for you.
Want help figuring out what you actually want from your career and how to move toward it? Check out DRI Your Career, an 8-week course starting in April. Jean Hsu and I designed it for mid to senior-level engineers who are ready to take ownership of their growth with clarity, confidence, and intention.
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