WISE women in computer science

Just Say No to Thankless Emotional Labour: The T-Shirt

just say no to thankless emotional labour tshirts

Last year I turned 30 in Santiago. I didn’t like Santiago, and I felt bad about turning 30 – it’s hard when a major life milestone occurs in a time when you are feeling somewhat lost, so I dealt with this in my preferred way – I left.

I went to Easter Island, and explored, started reflecting on something that one of my friends had told me – that turning 30 was incredibly liberating, because she gave fewer fucks. This is absolutely something I have found to be true over the last year. I have no time for bullshit games, and no space in my life for emotional vampires.

Most of all, I have really embraced the idea that I started tentatively to explore whilst I was still at The Conglomerate – that I can say No to Thankless Emotional Labour. And whilst I hate to give advice, I am vocally supportive of other women doing the same.

So, what better way to celebrate my birthday than… make a t-shirt with that phrase on it? Or rather, 8. You can buy one here. Proceeds are going to support two organisations, one in each of my homes. In Europe, Stemettes, and in Colombia, Colombia Dev (where it will go to support programming for women). I’ll match 500 USD to each.

Last year for my birthday, some friends and I embraced this idea of “#ChooseMeMay”. It was a reminder to prioritise ourselves over imagined obligations. This year, all I want for my birthday is: a kettle, a Grover from Times Square to stroke my hair and tell me everything will be OK, and for more women to choose themselves, their ideas, their creativity, over nonsense obligations, whether real, or imagined.

So, I’d love it if you bought a t-shirt. I’d love you to support these organisations, both of which are close to my heart. But most of all, fellow women, I’d love it if you said No to Thankless Emotional Labour, and chose yourself instead.