Accidentally in Code

Tag: women in technology

  • 3 Super Easy Things To Do For Other (Technical) Women

    3 Super Easy Things To Do For Other (Technical) Women

    lend me your hand, Danbo
    Credit: Flickr / 8 Kome

    Women, are the best and the worst to each other. In it’s extreme form, it’s a trope of TV and film. Think Mean Girls, Bridesmaids, Something Borrowed (all Amazon). But in real life, it’s my female friends who remember my birthday, send me flowers after a breakup, encourage me when I leave my comfort zone.

    And… of course… there have been the not so great female relationships too. Featuring the classics of backstabbing, vindictiveness, etc etc.

    But amongst technical women at least, I find it’s really rare to meet another woman who I don’t think is awesome. Sometimes I’m intimidated, and sometimes we don’t have enough in common to actually be friends, but at least in my experience, we’re usually pretty good to one another. But we could be better. Here are three super easy things that I think make a difference.

    Appreciate

    I was catching up with a friend recently, and she’d been organising some events and doing a bunch of great things for women around her, and she talked about how no-one had said thank-you. I empathised, there have been so many times when I’ve felt the same way. Or, someone flakes on something they were supposed to help with because they’re “too busy” and you just have to pick up the slack (no, it’s fine, I was just going to stare at the wall for that time period, yay for having something to do!).

    A meaningful thank you is so easy. Some companies have internal recognition programs – use them! Or send a nice email to their boss (and cc/bcc them, because managers don’t always forward these on). These strategies are totally free to you.

    For the cost of a cup of coffee, a thank you card. Or, an actual cup of coffee and a chat featuring “I thought it was great when you did X”.

    Hardly anyone does this. But it makes a huge difference to people. I’ve always been happy to receive such appreciation, but since I started making a point of following up and giving such appreciation myself, I’ve noticed how grateful and appreciative women are to feel… valued.

    If you can’t say anything nice…

    About two years ago now, I set myself a really simple rule. I don’t criticise women doing difficult jobs. I had noticed that criticism of women was typically gendered, and more vicious than comparable men were getting. So I just opted out.

    This doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t say “hey, I think you could do X better”, or that if really a woman was doing something egregious I wouldn’t call it out. But defaulting to no, and considering why I made this rule for myself, made me (usually! I’m not a saint) much more thoughtful about it.

    Sometimes I say, “I don’t criticise women doing difficult jobs”, which has led to some interesting conversations. Sometimes I just sit quietly – if I think it’s merited. Sometimes I speak up – if I think it’s not. Sometimes I just walk away.

    Mentors

    I know the data says that women are over-mentored, but I still from time to time hear women complaining about not having one. This has to be one of the easiest things to help another woman out with – I’m sure we all have someone in our network who would be a good mentor for someone else we know. Ask them, tell them why you think they would be great (it’s a complement!)

    Finally…

    I hear women complaining about the same things, and yeah totally structural inequalities etc, but these are some really very tiny, easy things, that we could do for each other. They are not going to fix the structural inequalities, to be honest I doubt it will even make a dent in them. These things don’t address the underlying reasons why women leave the industry, or the egregiously bad things that happen. But. Brightening someone’s day, or at least making it a little less dark from time to time… isn’t nothing. Sometimes it’s the best, and the most, you can do.

    Would love to hear about any little things you do for women, or that you really appreciate when people do for you!

  • A Man’s Guide to Helping Women in Tech

    A Man’s Guide to Helping Women in Tech

    The War It's not a man's thing
    Credit : flickr / sarflondondunc

    What can men do? Other than not harass women? Although not harassing is a surprisingly good start.

     TL;DR: Step 1 – Don’t drive women away. Step 2: Don’t stand by and watch other men drive women away. Step 3: Give women a reason to stick around.

     Step 1: Don’t Perpetuate

    • Understand the range and extent of the problem – I created this primer a a place to start.
    • Read up on Cognitive Bias, and check your own feedback on women for examples of it.
    • Offer alternatives to heavy-drinking environments if you are organising something, consider concerns women have for their physical safety.
    • Be physically considerate – don’t stand too close. Don’t assume she is OK being touched even in a friendly way (nice example).
    • Be aware of your language – do you use different language when speaking to women? Could it seem patronising (even if you don’t mean it that way).
    • Read Unlocking the Clubhouse (my review, Amazon).

    Step 2: Don’t Ignore

    • Look for and point out examples of cognitive bias in other people’s feedback.
    • Notice if women around you seem to feel physically uncomfortable – e.g. is the a man who is often moving closer to them, that they are subtly moving away from? Read this account from a man who watched a women being violated. If you know her, ask if she is comfortable walking home alone (being asked this by a complete stranger is not effective for making women feel safer).
    • Notice if women around you have reason to feel emotionally uncomfortable – does anyone do or say anything that might make them feel marginalised?
    • Suggest alternatives to heavy-drinking environments for events.
    • Notice when there is only one woman at an event – e.g. team offsite, and suggest ways to make that not the case, either by inviting another woman, or combining with another team.
    • Encourage others to read Unlocking the Clubhouse (my review, Amazon).
    • Read Delusions of Gender (Amazon).

    Step 3: More-than-Moral Support

    Think of the tech industry and society in general as pushing women down when it comes to math, science, and engineering. This is where you can try and pull them up.

    • Encourage: Good at any level! High school maths? University? New person on your team?
    • Advocate: “I think X would be good on that project, didn’t she do a great job with Project Y?”
    • Sponsor: help fund or host women’s events, both internal and external to your organization.
    • Refuse speaking engagements or panels without women.
    • Set targets and standards – e.g. “we are sending 5 people to this conference, at least one of them must be female”.
    • Read the research on what helps women get ahead, and implement it – don’t expect them to bring it to you.
    • Read personal accounts on the aftermath of harassment – don’t assume that just because the process says it is done, it is.
    • Attend GHC. Think about how it makes you feel – out of place? Intimidated? Imagine the reverse, remember that women have reason to feel physically threatened by men in general, and the environment is not always as welcoming.
  • Encouragement Beats Re-tweeting

    Encouragement Beats Re-tweeting

    reminders from the dashboard (random acts of kindness)
    Credit: flickr / jillallyn

    I read an article today about why there aren’t enough women in tech. It says, women doubt themselves. This hurts their chances of ending up in Science or Engineering. They think they can’t do it.

    It bored me. I am so tired of reading this. We know it. I must read an article a month – a week even – that says this. But more, I notice it when I speak to female colleagues, technical women friends, female university students, female school kids… non-technical women who tell me when it was that they stopped feeling good at math (or, that they never did at all).

    Articles don’t change anything. What does, is when you take the time to connect with another woman before she leaves. And you share the doubts that you have, the times when you nearly gave up – the reasons why you didn’t, and the tricks you use to keep on going. Studies show, that she’s likely better at math than she thinks she is. I think that’s a piece of information that should be shared.

    When I talk to guys, I end up talking about my job and what I do. When I talk to women, or girls, I often talk about how often I have felt like a complete and utter failure and hopeless case, and then gone and succeeded anyway.

    Maybe instead of hitting “retweet” on some other article that tells us how completely hopeless it all is, we’d be better to invest 15 minutes connecting with another woman and encouraging her.

    Just a thought.