Accidentally in Code

Tag: requests

  • Email

    spam spam spam
    Credit: flickr / Will Lion

    The other day I got an email from someone asking me to do something for them. They’d spelled my name wrong. This is someone who did a total of an hour volunteering for WISE and by being flaky had caused me a bunch of trouble.

    And so, I didn’t reply. There’s plenty of information about how to manage the information we receive, but how about what we send out? How about some guidelines.

    1. Check your spelling. If you’re asking for something and you spell my name wrong it gives a truly horrible impression. I know “Cate” is less common than “Kate” but it’s four letters, and if you managed to spell my email address there’s really no excuse.
    2. So you’re asking a question that you think I will know the answer to. There is, however, a minimum amount of time it will take me to read your email and craft a response. Say that’s 5 minutes, minimum, even if I don’t have to look up the answer for you. As such, I would say unless it’s going to take you 30 minutes or more to work it out, don’t email me. And don’t email me “just to check” something, either. Try it, and then if it doesn’t work, we’ll talk.
    3. Be concise. I talked to my students about “iPhone optimizing” their emails. I tend to monitor my email from my iPhone so if you want a prompt response, send me something short and to the point, that I can reply in 3 sentences or less.
    4. Consider the most appropriate way to contact. I use Twitter and SMS. It’s a better way to organize dinner or similar. Equally, rather than the back and forth you can always make a phone call.
    5. Don’t assume I check my email all the time. One, I check my email sporadically and can go for days deciding there’s nothing important enough to merit opening my mail client on my computer. Two, I resent it when people expect an instant response – instant response to email is a sign of disorganization. I’m trying to minimize my task switching, and get things done.

    I should mention though, I’m not currently returning phone calls I miss anymore. I tried to the other day, and ended up messaging some random guy who then tried to pick me up on the phone. Of course, after ascertaining I was 24. Urgh.

  • Lessons Learned from a Recent Screw-up

    xkcd: Frame
    Credit: xkcd

    I offended someone recently. I really would never have meant to do that… but unfortunately I did.

    Does spending some much time with people who are “on the spectrum” make you less attuned to people’s feelings yourself? I wonder. Anyway, I guess to summarize I thought I was suggesting something that would be easier for her and fit in well. But  I was wrong. Worse, this means that I’m not sure I can suggest the better solution that has since occurred to me. And, obviously I need to sort this out. Urgh.

    It’s really important to learn from this kind of experience, here’s what I have so far.

    Work on the ask. Needs to be general enough to encourage people to approach you, but not so general that you’re compelled to accept everyone who does.

    Don’t say yes, follow up. There will be a bunch of details that you neglect to mention. Later you may realize you didn’t clarify something you “always do” and they are expecting something different than what you’re offering.

    Don’t say no, follow up. I’m pretty poor at saying no, especially in person. It’s easy to override me. This turns it into a yes – if I’ve followed up by email, I can think about it for longer and decide whether or not the objection is valid.

    Even if you are the sole decision maker, behave like you’re not. Gives you more leeway.

    Look for other options. Maybe you can’t give the person what they want, but know people who can. Allow yourself time to reflect on other connections that you can create, and the value that might come from them.

    Just because someone offers, you don’t have to say yes. I messed up in this case, but more than offending someone I screwed up because I agreed to something that I’m not sure is in line with what I want to do. There are so many better options now I’m not standing in front of someone having to come up with an instant response, but I may have put myself in a position where I can’t suggest them without offending this person further – not good.

    So to summarize – don’t just agree to things, buy time to consider your options and talk with other people who may be involved and can give you better perspective.

    And if you see me doing anything else, kick me (I’ll thank you for it later).