Tag: impostor syndrome

  • Impostor Syndrome

    Impostor Syndrome

    Windy day
    Credit: DeviantArt / ZoranPhoto

    I’ve rejected a number of posts for today, because I worry that whatever comes next will be taken in the context of this. Because today is a day where the schedule says, write about women, and I think, I should write something positive. And there is so little positive to say about women in tech. The data is bad. The numbers are going down. I got nothing.

    And then, I had a conversation with a fabulous woman about shoes. I’m at a tech conference right now, and I’d been feeling slightly out of place. Since I sat on the train and didn’t manage to make conversation. Compounded by walking up a hill in heels and getting left behind, which felt like something of a metaphor.

    And then we talked about shoes. Because to be honest, that is my metric for a good tech conference. I meet another woman and we have a conversation about something else entirely. And I talked to other people, had good conversations, made good connections.

    Had something of a heart to heart, in the way that you occasionally do as a blogger. When you discover someone and find that you have read some of their writing, and they have read some of yours. And this was notable for me, because I was having this conversation with a dude.

    Honestly my network is probably quite dude-lite, considering I work in the tech industry. I meet a lot, but I rarely have such open conversations with them.

    I said, thinking I was revealing a terrible secret, that I worry sometimes that I’m less good than I used to be. And he said he felt the same, but that he thought it was normal.

    Imagine, my dark secret, normal.

    In the tech industry, we talk a lot about the impostor syndrome. But almost as a matter of pride, like, wow, it’s so incredible that we, such clearly brilliant people, sometimes… question our brilliance. That surrounded by other brilliant people we sometimes… feel a little inadequate.

    But then when we feel like that, we stop feeling like that and go and be awesome instead.

    Thinking about it, a great day’s programming, is when you get a week’s worth of work done in a matter of hours. But a bad week’s programming, is when work that shouldn’t even exist (because you screwed up) takes all week.

    This is what makes it addicting. The high highs, the low lows. The unpredictable reward. So we’re probably all having low points on a pretty regular basis (and they last longer than the highs).

    Meanwhile, I’ll try and stop feeling inadequate about feeling inadequate… and go and have an awesome time, instead.

  • I Don’t Have Impostor Syndrome

    I almost feel like I shouldn’t admit this – it’s something all grad students are supposed to have (as far as I can make out), I had a talk about it in my first week and it’s come up since then too. I’m not belittling it, and I know it’s something a lot of grad students do suffer from, and it’s really horrible.

    I know it’s really horrible, because I used to have impostor syndrome. And, don’t get me wrong, I still get feelings of crushing inadequacy. But – I don’t feel that I don’t deserve to be at grad school.

    Yesterday, I was in a talk. There were about 40-50 people there. I was the only woman. This is situation normal in CS. Well, a little below normal – usually there’s one or two other women. I asked a question, there was an acronym I didn’t understand – SWEBOK, and I was told I should know what it was. A show of hands revealed that I was not (by far) the only one – when I got a chance to Google it later it turns out that it’s what you should know after working in Software Engineering for 4 years.

    Anyway, I don’t let that kind of thing make me feel bad about myself anymore. I looked up what it was, and I won’t need to ask that question again. I no longer think having those questions is a sign of weakness.

    So I used to have impostor syndrome. It used to bother me that I’d be the only girl in my group, one of few in my class. I used to get really angry because I felt that I needed to work twice as hard to get the respect of my peers. I used to get even angrier when I realized that wouldn’t win me the respect of all of them. And I used to think that I needed to give up part of who I am (the part of me that likes to put on makeup, consider my outfit choice, make time to go outside and to exercise) in order to be a geek, and that to be good at CS I would need to be a geek.

    But I don’t care anymore. Being one of few women means that I’m less intimidated to speak to the other women that are there, and I’ve interacted with and met some cool people this way. Working twice as hard may not have got me the respect of everyone, but it got me the respect of those I respect in return – much more valuable, in my opinion. And it got me a good degree from the University of Edinburgh, into grad school here in Ottawa, and a good GPA. It’s got me valuable work experience, and a work ethic that will help me when I venture into industry (and learn the SWEBOK). I think that the way the industry is going, not being a geek will in fact work to my advantage.

    Working recently, there was some sexism going on. Shamefully, the worst of it was from another woman. But so what? She was only holding herself back, not me – it’s irritating, sure, but I’m not going to get worked up about it. When my expertise is overlooked because my boss thinks the guy must be smarter it grates, sure, but if I have some insight, it’s not me that’s missing out – it’s the people who didn’t think I was worth listening too. Ultimately, this attitude of negating half the population (in fact, more than half their employees) will hold their business back, not me.

    It’s taken a while, but I’m not an impostor in grad school, and I’m not an impostor in my field. And the biggest reason as to why? Because I’ve built up a network of people who respect me, who rate who I am and what I do. People I met through my degree, along the winding path that took me here to uOttawa, and here as well.

    At the moment, I’m working really hard with the rest of the exec committee to get a chapter of Women in Science and Engineering going at uOttawa. Carleton have made a big success of CU:WISE and I hope we can emulate that. We’ll be running a lot of outreach, but what I’m most excited about is building a community where Women in Science and Engineering can get together, build their support network, and eventually say, “I Don’t Have Impostor Syndrome, Either”.