Tag: expectations

  • Whose Expectations are Those, Anyway?

    Whose Expectations are Those, Anyway?

    This is part 1 of a series of blog posts based on a talk I prepared called Successfully Derailed Product. It’s about the ways in which we define and talk about “success” influence what – and how – we build.

     

    raccoon
    Credit: ToRange

    There used to be a joke at a company I worked for that went “how many test frameworks do we have” and the answer was “how many SET5s do we have?” It was “funny” because an SET was a software engineer in test, and to get promoted to Level 5 they would have… written a test framework.

    How often have you have seen those kind of things? Where the things that get incentivised for individual success turn out to be a joke at scale? Because clearly when it comes to testing frameworks, more is not better. It’s pretty orthogonal to the goals of testing – which are generally around continually shipping with confidence.

    This isn’t to say that promotion processes are inherently bad, or that individuals shouldn’t desire and work towards professional advancement. Just that the processes and goals that we define profoundly affect our organisations, the environment it creates for people who work there, and the things we are able to ship as a result. Your processes define your culture, and your organisational dysfunctions show up in what you ship and when you ship it.

    This isn’t to say that goals are bad. Goals are good… it’s well documented that we make more progress when we know what we’re aiming for. But if we set the wrong goals, or we set goals that aren’t compatible, then what? And when we agree on the goals we should be setting… are they supported or sabotaged by our processes?

    Let’s talk about what “success” even is. Take a moment, and think about some goal in your life. What is it? (Leave it in the comments or tweet at me).


    Do you have something in mind? Now I want you to think about where it came from.


    Hard part over: how do you measure it and how do you report on it?


    Example 1: I have a goal of increasing the monthly actives in the app. My boss gave it to me. I measure progress on it using analytics and report on it every two weeks.


    Example 2: I have a goal of clarifying the “vision” for my team. I got this from my team in various ways – surveys / direct feedback about this being something people want. I measure it quantifiably using surveys, and less quantifiably from the kind of questions that get asked in our monthly townhalls or in the regular skip 1:1s I have with everyone on the team. I report on it quarterly – in that we have a document outlining the longer term plan for the team, and this is how often it gets updated.


    There’s a framework by Gretchen Rubin on how people respond to expectations, called the Four Tendencies. She describes it in Better than Before (Amazon) and goes into more depth in The Four Tendencies (Amazon). Essentially, there are four ways in which people respond to expectations.

    Obligers respond to expectations from other people. They struggle meeting their own expectations.

    Upholders respond to all expectations – including those they define themselves.

    Questioners question all expectations, and respond only to expectations they think make sense.

    Rebels resist all expectations.

    https://twitter.com/alexisylchan/status/975048974032814086
    Obliger Goals, 2018

    So how does this relate to goals? Well obligers probably got their goals from other people, upholders might be making great progress on things they don’t actually want, questioners are trying to ignore things they can’t make sense of, and rebels are opting out of the very thought.

    Meanwhile, obligers often feel unappreciated because they’re so busy putting other people ahead of themselves they can’t get their own stuff done. Upholders don’t understand why people don’t just do what they are asked or say they will do without complaining or asking so many questions. Questioners are annoyed by all the arbitrary things that other people want (and also, ironically, by being questioned) and rebels just want to be free to do whatever they feel like and resent all the interference.

    All these things are playing out around us. But a lot of the time we don’t have a way to articulate it so we don’t talk about it.

    Currently, I manage five managers, and we started talking about it towards the end of last year, in part because reading the book I realised that I was not great at managing obligers. I’m a questioner, and I was completely mystified by the behaviour of taking on arbitrary things and then resenting them. So you know, an obliger gets overwhelmed, and my response is along the lines of “why are you doing that anyway”, which, you know, they don’t find helpful… and then they feel resentful and I feel confused. It’s great working with obligers because they are so nice and helpful. But because of that it’s very easy for people to inadvertently create expectations and take advantage of them. Meanwhile upholders can lack empathy for people who aren’t as effective. This gave us a shared language to talk about how we are creating and responding to expectations with each other.

    On a more organisational or social level, there’s an idea called Campbell’s law.

    “The more any quantitative social indicator is used for social decision-making, the more subject it will be to corruption pressures and the more apt it will be to distort and corrupt the social processes it is intended to monitor.”

    ~Campbell’s Law

    Bit abstract, right? A good example of teaching to test. Standardized testing can work for measuring attainment, but once students are taught to pass the test, both the teaching and the test lose value.

    You can think about this in terms of promotion processes. You define a system which makes sense, but then people work to the system, and both the work and the system become less useful.

    Another place you can see this is the tension around shipping culture and something that might be called a “quality culture”. When you define a process to incentivise shipping, shipping becomes the goal and what is actually shipped tends to become secondary – and not very good. Then in a “quality culture” the quality is the most important thing, and so nothing gets shipped at all…

    …But if it does ship, it will be perfect.

    animal-black-and-white-fence-160709
    Credit: Pixabay

    (As an aside, this is why I like to talk about shipping as a habit rather than as the goal itself. I think this is something where release cycles help, because it can force shipping on a cadence rather than shipping specific things).

    One way to phrase Campbell’s law is that we work on the definition of the thing. And the result is that definition is probably nonsense.

    I find all this pretty fascinating, but what does it all mean? How do these things connect? Well when we define systems, we create incentives – or expectations. Individuals take these expectations and it influences their goals (even if they’re rebels – just in the opposite way).

    Essentially – defining systems is fraught with risk of derailment, because teams are not made up of rational actors, but rather: people.

    What’s next? A look at the way individuals define success.

  • The Emotional Expectations of Women

    The Emotional Expectations of Women

    Credit: Flickr / fotodispalle
    Credit: Flickr / fotodispalle

    The other day, I made a complaint at a service that I pay an inordinate amount of money for. I don’t think the topic or place of complaint is relevant, so I’ll leave it out. But as I was stressing about this problem, which meant I was unable to use this service without either a large amount of hassle, or paying an extra 5GBP, I mentioned that I should have gone to the other location (run by the same company, where this is not a problem).

    Anyway, the guy responds to this by telling me I’ve hurt his feelings. I’m completely thrown by this, and end up paying up the extra money and going away, still annoyed.

    I maintain that my complaint was reasonable, and he derailed it by making it not about what was bothering me, but about him. But even if my complaint was unreasonable, how are his feelings relevant – bearing in mind that my way of expressing my complaint was expressed in a moderate tone, free from personal insults.

    Because it’s derailing – I’m not supposed to complain anymore, because of HIS feelings.

    And yet, women are supposed to be more emotional.

    It’s the double standard that is imposed on women – be less emotional, don’t cry, don’t make “emotional” decisions. But make sure you do the emotional labour of considering the feelings of the men around you.

    Men don’t have to worry about the feelings of women, because it’s been agreed (somehow) that women shouldn’t have them. But woe betide the woman who hurts the feelings of a man.

    I loathe this. I am tired of worrying about the feelings of men, how they will react to things, what kind of trouble they will cause me as a result. Demanding that women somehow be less, and more emotional is not something that we are ever going to win.

  • Email Once A Day

    Email Once A Day

    Email
    Credit: flickr / Bruno Girin

    Back in May, I started checking email only once a day (and sometimes not at all if I had no meetings). I had to accept that no-email days would be scarcer than I’d like, but overall it’s been a good experiment. Typically I get through it as fast as possible (< 15 mins) and once a week I have a longer purge of my “star for later” items. Here’s what I’ve found:

    Most emails do not need an instant response…

    … and if someone is trying to make their disorganization your emergency, you probably don’t want to give them one anyway.

    I loathe having a reactive workflow and do my best to avoid it. A reactive workflow is terrible for your productivity. The argument against email once-a-day is that stuff arrives that you “need” to respond to. Sure, on occasion. What I’ve found is – not often. And by not being instantly responsive you train people to be organized in what they ask of you. In a real emergency, they can reach you by other means. I’m always on IM, and I make my phone number available. What’s amused me is when people have panicked because they couldn’t get me via those means, it’s not like me checking email more often would help. I mean, sure, even if I checked email more often, I wouldn’t check it whilst giving a talk.

    For me, the stuff I want to be responsive to arrives in other places – code reviews and bugs. I can check on those things there, not in my inbox. Then it’s more deliberate, “I’ve done my current task, what am I going to work on next?”

    Fewer hours at work, no discernable change in productivity.

    First thing I noticed – that I checked email when I was stuck. Second – I felt happier. Third – I was getting more done and going home earlier. You know the last 30 minutes of the day when you’re tired and not making progress? Email is a good time-filler there. Makes you feel productive, but really just keeps you away from your non-work life.

    People miss things anyway.

    People who check mail more say that they use filters heavily. They also admit that from time to time stuff gets filtered out that they should have read. Everyone is missing stuff. When you send an email and it’s important, and you don’t get a response, you follow up. I make a point of asking people for things in person wherever possible. But no system is perfect, so I advocate doing what works best for you and makes you happiest and most productive.

    Being transparent may not be the best way.

    Not everyone is wild about my attitude to email. It frustrates me, because I feel that I’m more on top of email than most, but because I’m transparent and set expectations (you’ll typically receive a response within 24 hours, but no promises), if someone wants to they can seize on it as something to complain about (provided they don’t have to provide concrete examples). I think you could check email once a day – maybe less! And, if anything comes up just trot out some excuse like, “oh I was in the zone, I didn’t get to email yet”, or “no, I must have missed that” or “sorry, bunch of meetings”, and get away with it…

    Make the most of it while you can.

    My job title is “Software Engineer”, not “emailer”. I’m ruthless on email because I’m only interested in it such that it allows me to be a better engineer, or further certain causes (female engineers). Right now, I am not seeing any great problems caused by my attitude to email. In 3 months I’ve missed perhaps 3 things, but am happier/more productive/going home earlier and it’s not clear that short of having my phone beep with every new email I wouldn’t have missed some things anyway. I don’t know how viable this approach will be as I progress. Can a tech-lead check email only once a day? Maybe. Can a manager? Definitely not (yet another excellent reason not to take the management track).

    So for now, I’m sticking with it. And enjoying it, because I’m not sure it will be viable forever.

    eMail
    Credit: flickr / Esparta

    Interesting case-study: I’ve been doing once-a-day on my work inbox but continuing as normal on my personal inbox. Work email status: under control, pretty on top of it. Personal email status: chaos.

  • Being Human

    Being Human

    I Say R2
    Credit: flickr / stu_wp

    It’s the day of my paper deadline, I have a horrible throat infection (complete with headache and rasping cough) and I’m just FREAKING OUT because it all seems like TOO MUCH and why why why did I not just hole myself up in my apartment and get on with things? Why did I come back to Europe with the plane bacteria and the jetlag and the horrible horrible weather that I’m afraid to drive my Smart car in and somehow seems worse than in Canada because it never used to be that bad when I lived here.

    My friend IM’s me and I just freak out on her. I tell her that I’m stressed about this paper deadline, and I’m sick, and that I’m not going to be finished this semester and honestly I haven’t even looked at when the date I had to re-register by was. She’s great, and says, well what do you need to do? I’m going to stay here whilst you do it. And she says,

    It’s a relief to discover that you’re human.

    Which shocks me – because this is someone who I respect hugely, who I consider a mentor, and find incredibly inspiring. Honestly, I’ve been convinced since a few days after I met her that she is super human. She is so frickin’ awesome.

    And then my dad comes home, randomly in the middle of the day to pick something up, and he asks me how I am and I cry some more and tell him that I feel so ill and that I’m a total failure and that I’m so sorry that I’m not going to be finished this semester but will need to register for another one. And he tells me it’s OK, he’s not mad at me, he’s frustrated by the university (chronically disorganized and terrible at communicating dates etc) and my “supervisor” who, ah, doesn’t actually supervise me.

    I’ve been thinking about this lately, because we all seem to think that other people are doing better than we are. They’re more together, more organized, more capable, just doing better at life whilst we flounder though, making it up as we go along.

    If I were to sit down with someone else and they’d been having the experience that I’ve had, I would be horrified, angry on their behalf, and probably taking up their cause and trying to find someone to complain to. But, me, I think I should just be getting on with it, graduating in fewer semesters than typical (this is my 5th if you don’t count the one I spent in Shanghai) and somehow just knowing how you write a paper, how you get it published, and how you write and submit a masters thesis without having to ask anyone HOW THE F**K DO YOU DO THAT BECAUSE I HAVE NO F**KING IDEA?!?!?!?!?!

    It’s one thing to hold yourself to higher standards than others. That’s how you strive to be nicer, more honorable, more organized, whatever. And, if you’re striving hard, it’s probably necessary to cut others some slack if you want any friends. But allowing other people to be human and thinking that I should be some kind of cyborg is not healthy, or helpful. Let’s be honest, it’s insane.

    Other people tell me I’m doing a lot because they see the three papers I submitted this semester, the blog posts I produce every week. I don’t see the day I worked near non-stop from 10am to 3:30am the following morning or the days I work fewer hours, but with furious intensity. I fixate on the weekend I spend in my PJs with my boyfriend playing through my new LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4 game (Amazon). Or the days I slept in. Or that day I just read a novel when I had so much to do, I mean – what was I thinking?!?

    I’m not a cyborg. I have to accept that I will have to register for another semester. I have to forgive myself and acknowledge that if it were someone else in my place, I wouldn’t be judging them for it.

    But next semester will be the last one. If I’m not done by then, I don’t think it’s worth it any more. I have a great job. I’ll have an academic paper published (come Feb), an industrial one (don’t know when that will be out) and something I wrote (class paper, didn’t try to publish it) is going to be cited in SIGCHI. One more academic paper (working title: Exploring Transient Communities on Twitter) and isn’t that all you’re supposed to get from a MSc anyway? Do I need a fancy piece of paper and a picture of me in a stupid hat to certify that I paid uOttawa a ridiculous amount of money for the privilege?

    I can’t beat myself up about this any more than I already have. I could be more focused. I could work harder. I could be more organized. But, I hope the truth of it is that my failings here are pretty insignificant compared to the failings of the system. The guy who was supposed to be my supervisor told me my work was worthless. He hasn’t read anything I’ve done. When I helped my office-mate transform their non-sense “framework” into a cycle he refused to let my office-mate put my name on the paper (it got published, my office mate hated it slightly less after I fixed it). He gave me away saying he didn’t know what I was doing and I should just work with my co-supervisor (who is amazing, but at a different university which means he can’t help me with some things).

    If I’m going to be angry, and frustrated… I don’t necessarily have to start by being angry and frustrated at myself.

    So, there it is. I’m human. Flawed. Inadequate. Scared. Overwhelmed. Angry. Exhausted. Lost.

    Not a cyborg. And I think that’s for the best. Because if I never melted down, I wouldn’t be pushing myself. And I would never have those moments where someone else reaches out to me and they understand, or sympathize, or help in some way. And it seems to me like they have a super power, that cyborgs will never, ever have.