Accidentally in Code

Tag: ambition

  • Ambition, Failure, and my Favourite Podcast

    Ambition, Failure, and my Favourite Podcast

    plant growing out of some rocks
    Credit: Pixabay / aKs_phOtOs

    I was listening to the last episode of season 1 of my friend Diana’s podcast “Should We”, and the title of this one is called “Should We Actually Try?”

    I love Should We because I love Diana, and because there’s something about listening to a podcast where two friends who know each other well are keeping it real (this was something that I was inspired by in the podcast Camille and I recorded). This episode is my favorite because it’s the realest yet – it’s about going for something you’re not sure that you can do, and about the fear of failure when failure is a very real possibility.

    This is because they are running a Kickstarter for Season 2. I love the podcast as it is, but I’ve now backed it twice (somehow I have 2 Kickstarter accounts? Who knew?) because I want to support them, and because if I love this low-fi iPhone-in-a-cup version how much more would I love a professionally produced version?

    But then at a meta-level, I want to support women who set an ambitious goal. I just started getting leadership coaching and the first thing we did was we went through this thing called “Discovery” where I was brutally honest about some things that hold me back. At some point I wrote about how there are opportunities I am afraid to take because I am too afraid to fail at them. Like Diana and Lisa I am all about the incremental progress, the gradual growing of something. This episode was so real to me because it captured the same approach I take… and the limitations of that.

    I think for women the cost of failure is often really high – we avoid it for good reason. And one of the ways we pathologize the ambition of women is to take normal fear of failure, and the self-awareness of things we know we aren’t good at, and label it imposter syndrome. But actually if you are going to be ambitious, it’s normal that failure is a possibility. To take it seriously, consider what would be the outcome, and do it anyway… well it’s inspiring to me to listen to two women doing that, and to hear them being so honest about their fears of failure, and the ambition that they admit to in private, if not in public. I really hope they succeed – but if not, well, I’ll keep listening anyway.

  • I Cannot Die Washing a Teacup

    I Cannot Die Washing a Teacup

    The Iron Lady I wanted to see this since it came out, but I finally got round to watching The Iron Lady on the plane to Australia. At first I thought I was going to hate it, because it starts with Maggie really old, and clearly losing her grip on reality somewhat. Actually I spent almost the entire time I was watching it feeling quite close to tears.

    But, however you feel about her politics, it’s a pretty great movie. Meryl Streep is – as ever – phenomenal. I wasn’t really old enough to experience the Thatcher years, but in the movie, as in real life (I think) she was a strong woman, doing an impossible job. The media training bit is particularly fascinating – after she’s criticized for being “shrill” and deliberately works to change her voice. The proposal is my favorite bit – refusing to change, to give up her ambition. This is who you will be marrying. Be OK with that.

    My friend and I are talking about the price you pay, as a woman, for success. The men who – in theory – support women being awesome, but in practice want their partner to be a little less awesome than they are. She tells me, she’s deliberately hiding how much she makes from her boyfriend, because she doesn’t want to deal with the fallout from that.

    This movie is about that price. And towards the end of her time as PM, when she’s pushing too hard, going too far, I wonder – if you always have to be so strong because the people are so quick to doubt, to judge, that you end up losing your ability to differentiate between when you’re being strong because you need to be strong, and when you’re being stubborn out of habit.

    Anyway, highly recommend.

  • Rise: How to Be Really Successful and Like Your Life

    Rise: How to Be Really Successful and Like Your Life

    rise
    Rise

    Rise (Amazon) is focused on helping you become CEO. As a result I found some of it a bit overly-ambitious for me. But – it contained some really great advice.

    1. Ruthless Priorities. You have too much to do, but hey – don’t we all. The trick is to decide what’s critical and do an outstanding job on that, rather than a mediocre job on everything. It’s important to pick the right things to prioritize ruthlessly – the things that make a huge difference.

    2. Work smarter, not longer. If your answer is to throw hours at everything, you’ll never scale up.

    3. Mentors. This was probably the biggest insight I got from the book, and it made me think “I’ve been doing all these things that will benefit other people, but when did I last make time and prioritize someone mentoring me?” – it motivated me to set a time with one of my mentors and after a fabulous evening of delicious food and horizon-expanding conversation, I left with some key ideas and a contact that will help me move things forward, but more importantly – feeling inspired and energized and ready to go!

    Overall, a useful read if you want some strategies and reminders for moving forward on your personal development and crazy goals.