There’s an exercise in 7 Habits where you have to list your different “roles” and things you need to do for each of them. Here are mine (in no particular order):
Grad student
Teaching Assistant
Ski instructor
President of WISE
Job seeker
Girlfriend
Daughter
Friend
Skier
Kickboxer
Workshop creator
Programmer
Nice (i.e. helping other people)
Blogger
Information diffuser
Member of tech community
And I look at this list, and think, no wonder I’m feeling overwhelmed lately. Case in point – last week was reading week, so I should get to relax a little. However, on Tuesday I wanted to kickbox, but I also wanted to go to a tech event and thought that would be a good prep for my interview Wednesday morning. And I found myself in the situation that because I hadn’t managed to get up at 6am (on my week off!) two of my roles were in conflict, and I had to choose.
So I go from a career panel (roles: nice, WISE) to briefly hang out with a friend (role: friend) to this panel (roles: member of tech community, programmer, job seeker). And the next day I have my interview, try to be productive, go kickboxing, and have dinner with friends, take my friend to Carleton to return a book, and crash before I manage to call my boyfriend (who was away).
Two realizations – one, I need to prioritize my various roles. Graduating and getting a job are probably the most important things right now, and the sad truth of that is, other ones may have to be set aside. Like skiing, training is a huge time commitment (with the time it takes to get too and from the hill) and I’m injured – perhaps it’s best to just accept that I’m not going to have a great season. Maybe I need to be less nice, delegate more with WISE, spend less time with my friends. I’m still working out how – but I know I need to make some changes.
Second, there’s no “Cate” on this list – just a bunch of things that Cate does. There’s no chilling out and watching movies. There’s no go swimming even though I’m not training for anything specific. There’s no sleeping in, or kicking back and reading a whole novel. No baking of cakes, or skating, or xc-skiing, or any of the myriad of things that I like to do but don’t do enough to merit their own role.
I’m in danger of becoming a list of attributes that you could define in XML – because I’m not making time for anything not on the list. Because I’m not making time for me.
This will – hopefully – be my last real semester. I think this situation is normal, but not permanent.
Remind me, please, when I’m done, to choose something not on the list – and enjoy it.
I recently finished reading What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20 (Amazon) by Tina Seelig. It’s a wonderful and inspiring book, and I’m going to write a little about how it inspired me, but I also want to touch on two other books that changed the way I look at things.
The God Delusion (Amazon) by Richard Dawkins. This book took away the last residual guilt about being an atheist. Even in Secular Britain, it felt sometimes that I needed to apologize for not believing, or that I was weird because I literally couldn’t suspend rationality in order to feel better about myself/the future/whatever. Since then, I don’t. I think I’m also more optimistic as well – although that was a more gradual change.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Amazon) by Stephen Covey. This book showed be the difference between effectiveness and efficiency. The advice in it is so simple, and yet I read it and think about those people who embody the principles and the difference between them, and those that don’t… is profound.
So, What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20 (Amazon). The biggest lesson? Give yourself permission – to try, to lead, to create… to fail. And I think we 20-somethings need that, because it’s easy to go along, being told what to do. Too easy.
And really, I think one of my biggest successes has come from giving myself permission. About a year ago, I applied for a more senior position to the one I’d had for two summers. And I had this incredibly strange interview, where the woman kept saying how alike we were and how she disliked aspect X of herself that I had too, and I tried to construct sensible arguments to say “we are not that alike”, but got nowhere. The only constructive feedback I got was that I didn’t have enough examples of leadership, outside my work for that company.
By the time I was answering that question, I was pretty discombobulated, and knew that in a better interview situation I could do better… but on that issue at least, she had a point. Soon after, this opportunity came up to restart WISE, and I took it. And part of what drove me to do it, was the idea that I would prove this woman wrong. But that reason soon faded away (I have no desire for that position anymore and didn’t apply this year), and I, and other members of the team, have worked really hard to make WISE a success.
And people seem to be impressed, or surprised by what I’ve achieved in this position of leadership. But I haven’t surprised myself. See – I always knew I could do it, I just waited too long for someone else to give me permission to prove it.
So my winter break reading consisted of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Getting Things Done, and The Power of Less (all Amazon). There’s a large amount of overlap between the first two and The Power of Less, but it’s a nice summary with some good thoughts on achieving your goals. 7 Habits is big-picture focus and GTD is more low level nitty gritty, so I think they complement each other well – I’d really recommend you read them both, if you’re looking to be more productive and effective, but in case you don’t even have the energy to read even The Power of Less I’m going to summarize some tips I’ve picked up from them.
Who are you and what are you trying to do?
One of the first things Covey asks you to do in 7 Habits is write down your different roles. We all have different roles we play – for myself, I’m not just a student, I’m also a TA, and President of WISE, and a girlfriend, and a friend, a daughter, a blogger and something else that I’ve not quite defined yet. Think about all your different roles – because you need to find time for each of them.
Write it down. And I do mean everything. Then review it, regularly.
The most helpful thing I got from GTD is the concept of making an inbox and putting every task, however small or vague or unlikely to be completed, on to it. Because it gets it out my head and allows me to focus on whatever I’m working on. If it’s something that small, like less than two minutes and you don’t think it’s worth writing down, why not just do it, instead? For paper, I have an A4 pad that I carry around with me, because I don’t have an office per se, and I don’t have much paper at all. This is where I collect things, and it gets processed on Fridays along with my email inbox and my task list inbox.
I’ve set aside time to process that inbox, as well as my email inbox, once a week. I was doing that yesterday, and it was actually kind of relaxing. Friday afternoon is good for me because it’s part of tying up the loose ends from this week, and planning the next, which is what my weekly review is about as well.
Give yourself a break.
We can’t be 100% on the ball, all the time. We can’t work every hour we’re awake week in, week out. Accept that you probably won’t achieve everything you want to do.
Go on, take a moment, it’s liberating.
Now, pick out the things that are most important. But keep the others on a “someday / maybe” list. You can always come back to them.
Find a way to pick out the things that are suitable for your energy level at that time. Label things with how long they’ll take so you can choose short tasks for when you have a limited amount of time. Doing a bunch of small tasks can be a good way to amp up your energy level (just don’t get lured in to thinking you can spend all your days like this and achieve awesome things).
Organizing in increments is OK.
Can’t get through inbox right now? Put it all in a folder “to organize” and go through it half an hour at a time, until it’s done. Take one piece of furniture at a time in your apartment to organize and then pick another one next week, or next month. You don’t need to achieve perfection before you can start being more organized! Organize what you need to to get started, live organized, and make time to clear the bits of your life that aren’t as organized up one by one.
Make time for Quadrant 2.
There’s a ton of stuff in our lives that’s important. And there’s always stuff that’s urgent. But just because something is urgent doesn’t mean that it’s important, and vice versa. Making time for the important-but-not-urgent (Covey calls this Quadrant 2) pays dividends. This can be stuff like exercising, or reading around your field if you’re a graduate student, or expanding your programming abilities and knowledge if you’re a programmer (check out this post – learn to program in 10 years). I think making time to process your tasks and review your week falls under this too. This is building your network before you need a job. Look at your life, at the things you should be doing but aren’t urgent right now. Start making time for them, and see what good comes from it.
As a graduate student, if you take a course you have to balance it with working on your thesis. It’s easy for the course to be more urgent, because everything is to a deadline. I deliberately start my assignments a while after they are issued. Yes, this sometimes causes me last minute stress if I’ve misjudged how long it will take or things come up, but if I spend that time before I start on Quadrant 2, I get huge benefits and make progress on my thesis – which is what will ultimately determine the date of my graduation. And I know I’m better at postponing the start date for something that will become urgent, than I am stopping when something is good-enough-but-not-perfect.
Also – check out this post from Study Hacks. What I took from it is that devoting time to Quadrant 2 is the difference between talented and extraordinary.
Learn how to delegate.
I’ve written before about how hard it is to delegate within group projects and student organizations. But at our last meeting for WISE I managed to delegate everything possible. Seriously. I was so happy! How did I do it? I said, these are the other things I have to on my plate and I have to do less. I also explained that I’m going to graduate, and the need to prepare for that so that WISE will keep going when I’m gone. And other people stepped up to the mark and so far, they’re doing great.
But just in case, I have a “waiting for” list on Remember the Milk. So I don’t remember what everyone else is supposed to be doing, because it’s all written down – now I can just check it periodically and chase up as neccessary. Added bonus – if people don’t step up and complete things, I can make it public...
Eliminate ruthlessly.
Is everything you do important? Really?
Yes? I don’t believe you.
There’s always stuff you can get rid of. Try it. It’s liberating. A good place to start if you read a lot – if you start reading something that isn’t useful or interesting, stop.
It’s not enough to “be organized” – you need to have your stuff organized too.
What’s the point in knowing exactly what tasks you need to complete if you can’t find the stuff you need in order to complete them? Throw out as much as you can and organize the rest of it. A filing system if you have a lot of stuff, or just a couple of boxes or binders if you don’t. Digitizing stuff and organizing it into folders works well too.
Eliminate distractions.
Email checking is a huge distraction. One of my friends thinks my aversion to email is ridiculous and tells me he just processes his as it comes in and that it takes hardly any time at all. But it’s been shown that it takes an average of 25 minutes to return to task after a distraction. He might be special, but I’m not. I check my email only between tasks, and have disabled the alerts. If I’m really absorbed in something, I can go several hours without checking it. Same for Twitter, Facebook etc. Although I have notifications on my iPhone, I don’t tend to notice them so they don’t distract me.
Wisdom 2.0 (Amazon) is full of tips on how to manage digital distractions.
Set aside time for things that you want to do.
If there’s something you’re passionate about, find time to work at it. The grind of doing stuff constantly that doesn’t inspire will kill your motivation.
Just start. The rest will follow.
This encompasses so many things.
So much time management advice says start the day with your hardest task. There’s a saying, something like, “Start the day by eating a live frog. Then the day can only get better.” It’s true.
Set a manageable amount of stuff to achieve in a day.
With big tasks it can be hard to know where to start, so break them down into manageable steps. Then your thinking has already done, so you can just get on with doing the task.
If you want to go to the gym, just make yourself get dressed and go rather than mandate what you do when you get there.
Covey takes this to the fullest extent, by suggesting you visualize what you’d like people to say at your funeral. You might find that helpful. But even if that seems like a bit much, determining what our high levels goals are can be helpful. Once they’re defined, we need to check-in periodically to ensure we’re making progress on these goals. I did this on my Planning 2010 post. It’s helpful to have them written down as a reference, so that if I’m feeling low on motivation because of the low-level nature of tasks that fill my days, I can go and remind myself of what my important goals are, and see if what I’m doing will help me meet them. If not, why am I doing it? It should be eliminated ruthlessly, as discussed above.
Summary
As I try and incorporate these things into my life, and live by them, I’m seeing the difference. But it’s tough. I struggle particularly with eliminating, and starting the day by eating a live frog. But I see them making a difference, so I hope you find this helpful. If there’s anything else you’ve got from these kind of books, resources for time management, or tips, please leave them in the comments!
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