I read Gravitas (Amazon) really slowly, and part of the reason for that was that I wanted to take the time and process each chapter. The “gravitas” eqation of
Knowledge + purpose + passion (- anxiety) = Gravitas
is what I think of as “poise”, and as I’ve mentioned before is my goal as a speaker.
There were a couple of tips I found particularly helpful. The first, on being present. FOFBOC, or feet on floor, bum on chair. It’s about being where you are, getting out of your head and back into you body and being where you are. With your feet on the floor, and your bum on the chair.
The other answered a question I had been asking myself. I was wondering why I wasn’t as charismatic in certain situations as I am in other areas of my life. Why is it in some areas people open up to me and tell me things, and in others… the opposite? I wondered if I less able to project warmth in those situations.
So the second thing that I found helpful was the section on gremlins. One of which is the gremlin of feeling threatened, or got at. And I realised, that my charisma was sapped, yes because I feel less warm, but really, because I feel braced for threat.
All in all, I recommend it. I think women need help walking that fine line between being a bitch, and being a pushover. This book, I think, helps us walk it.